Don't think I don't remember when I first got reported
I just picked eve and I got called retarded
and that's when I retorted, nah dude she's the best pick
Sore losers always hit the X when they dodged quick

FUCK! Now I gotta re-queue, no penalty in those days
It was frustrating, why they hatin' I'm just tryna make the bacon
while I climb the elo ranking playin' someone that is different

Listen, I'm not tryna be a troll, It's not my intention
to ruin your game bro, I just picked eve you really need to relax
take a step back, and watch me attack,

Bitch! I'd stealth in for a gank like I needed to
With No help when I flanked, Got heated dude
He's farming creeps over there while he blaming me
For dyin' when I tried to gank his mid you could clearly see

This guy was a dick, Pointing to the sky
"raging hate boner, Raging hate boner"
Solo queueing like a loner while I duoed with my friend who proceeded to type expletives

Stop being a little bitch
Help when she ganks for you
Pay the fuck attention fool

This devolved into something about measuring dicks and whose mom was fat and stuff like that
And you, know, whatever things the kids in solo queue could come up with back then, you know how but um, anyways

Those games became a rage fest,
Nobody won, nobody won
No mute button to counteract the problems
The act of picking eve was just me being a glutton for punishment

When she had a stun, Then she got a nerf
Riot says she's anti-fun
They slapped her with a slow
No longer a pub stomper Faded to the blackness
Saw eve no longer

But I remember the old days
When eve ganked in the old ways
And I remember the pro plays from eve when the lanes needed ganks

And I remember the old stealth
WHen eve had her old spells
E had a stun and her ulti just made her want to run


First day of the remake, chock full of eve hate
People wanting refunds, Sayin' she was no fun
Tried to play her AD, But when that didn't work

They gave up on that old eve and just moved on
cause it took too long for the new school to learn shit
yearned for simplicity cookie cutter build picks

But panda wasn't deterred, I tried her AP
and her deeps was too absurd, they couldn't handle it
Tried to build resist but my pen made it counterfeit
they couldn't do shit

I dropped em left and right, squishies, carries, tanks alike
it was then that their minds seemed to change overnight
cause I climbed to the heights of 1 million elo and riot said
no, no, no, that can't happen bro

They stripped me of my ranking, covered up the story
And the witnesses were hating that they smothered up the glory
of the hidden AP carry and the key to the top

Eve was a ringer! eve was a ringer!
But they couldn't let it linger cause they made her 2 stronk
And the balance teeter tittered til the line got drawn
in the sand and they reset, shut off the servers
with their shame and their regret

It was just a matter of time
They implemented nerfs as i'm writin' this rhyme
cause you know how riot is, just apply the nerf bat
appease the balance gods just to please all these nerd cats

But eve is on the come back
even flow of kills puttin' food in her lunch pack
YOu can see it on her lol king highest win rate
in the mid lane trained to win and assassinate

So why they gotta playa hate
I'm just tryna play eve while I educate